Full disclosure: I have been single for 7 years. I have no embarrassment about it. I don't date women that have no goals or ambition. My standards for my life are high and I only keep company with people that can add value. That being said, I'll tell you EXACTLY what online dating really is about.
Men and women essentially want the same things in a partner:
Companionship
Mutual Attraction
Support
But we select our potential mates completely differently. For the majority of this article, I'll be focused on online dating sites and maximizing your attractiveness. The advice however, absolutely works in real life applications as well.
I get hit on via dating sites almost daily. I ignore 95% of girls that write to me. I'm not some superficial jerk, I just realize that dating someone I have low interest in is a waste of time for both of us. The women that I ignore have the following traits:
1. Haven't maximized their body type (either need to lose weight or gain toned muscle).
2. Have shitty pictures (blurry, only headshots indicating body embarrassment, far away pics that dont show what she looks like).
3. Have awfully written profiles that demonstrate low intelligence or absence of any high tier cognitive ability. (for Christ's sakes, I have 6 degrees and you are writing "luv tatts on hawt guyz, luv to B spoiledddddd")
Guys, you aren't off the hook either. My BFF Heather, has been online dating for awhile (she's a high level exec and doesn't have time for most of your shenanigans either) and has shared some wonderful insight:
*Don't show up with a giant bald spot or completely bald after your pics have you looking like you have a glorious Fabio mane of hair, Einstein
*SHUT UP ABOUT YOURSELF, don't dominate the conversation and make it about how great you are (yeah, I really wrote that, I can't believe it either)
*Don't be uber creepy and touch her, talk about sex stuff, or be insecure and whiny. Girls smell fear and weakness. You're a man. Act like one.
So now that I have pointed out some serious flaws that many of you aren't addressing, I will teach you how to maximize your DSV (dating social value).
Men:
*Women look at profiles and subconsciously ask, "Will he be supportive and gain the approval of my friends and family?"
Be that guy. If you don't have a career you are proud of, go back to school. Seek a better job. Its not about money, its about stability. After 30, you shouldn't have roommates, you should have a portfolio and an empire. You should be a guy that women fight over.
Start a fitness program, eat better, use the articles in this blog to lose fat, find free school, be smarter and COMPLETELY revamp who you are. When you meet that special lady, YOU MUST CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE DATING. Don't get complacent just because you finally got her to commit to you. Trust me, she has plenty of choices and most of them involve some bouncer that has a speedbike and an AK-47 tattoo.
Women:
*Men look at your pictures first because we are genetically programmed to seek mates that are healthy and have strong child bearing features (sorry if you think that's sexist but its true). We are most drawn to 2 body types:
Thin, lean, Crossfit athletic types............................and curvy, pretty girls with big hips and big boobs
Girls that have muffin tops, wear clothes that are too tight and that have double chins are NOT CURVY. I know there are many misconceptions about body awareness because of fat acceptance, Tess Munster and all that, but guess what? The 2 types theory is how you can maximize your potential if you are serious about attracting your dream guy.
*For your profile, come across as fun, interesting, and a girl that will make a man's life better. For the love of God, men are sick of reading:
"If you cant handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" (great, now I know that you're crazy and wont fess up to it)
"You need to love my curves, I'm not changing" (No, Ill just date someone with a gym membership)
"Not looking for a booty call" (Oh yeah, me either)
"I love dressing up and going out, and am just as comfortable laying on the couch watching Netflix" (Wow, you are so down to earth. Guess what? SO IS EVERY GIRL ON HERE)
Here are how you can drastically raise DSV without much effort:
1. Take better pictures showing you doing cool stuff. Experiment with black and white photography and have at least one pic of you really dressed up.
2. Buy some new clothes that are fitted to your body type, and are bright exciting colors
3. Girls work out your legs, butt and arms, guys, work out your shoulders and maximize your jawline through a lot of cardio
4. Work on your writing. Be funny, quick witted and edgy. It shows people that you aren't boring.
5. The two things all people respect are confidence and sense of humor. Develop both.
Happy Hunting!!!
Dr. Rob
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