Ive always been fat.
Its hard to admit but feels great saying it. My weight shifts like a rollercoaster depending on how busy i am, if Im dating someone, life events, diet, blah blah. Ive gone through life while my skinnier, or more muscular friends had way more female attention. Its evolutionary, just like guys are attracted to girls with big boobs because subconsciously, it sends a message for nursing healthy children later. It is just as normal for girls to be attracted to thin, fit guys, or muscular guys because they will be good providers and breed good genes.
About two weeks ago, my buddy Jack came into town. We all went out and had a great time. He's a good dude and takes care of himself.
This is what I looked like at the time. I wasn't fat but I wasn't feeling too hot about myself. Plus that ugly ass beard wasnt endearing me to the ladies.I was kind of dissatisfied with my appearance and there was an incident that I wont mention here but my friends know about it, that got me motivated to get back in the game. My buddy Jeff who just got married, often talks about having a Stathom body and we joke about training methods that border on the psychotic.
Jeff and I at his wedding. Jeff is clearly better looking than me..lol------>
At this point, my self esteem was hovering in the negative numbers. I wasnt dating anyone, I didnt feel attractive, and I needed a very intense kick in the ass to be THAT GUY again. On the Fourth of July, I devised a plan. I locked myself in my house for 8 hours and worked on my Doctorate until midnight. I told myself that I would mentally go back to Basic Training. But for my life. A self imposed cycle of hell that would involve sleep deprivation, minimal food, intense concentration, very close attention to what I ate, and more back to back workouts than I had ever known.
Ive done this before. Two times. When I was preparing for officer school, I went on a regiment of Bacardi and Diets, and chicken wings, and lost 21 pounds in a month and a half. I was running about three times a week.
When I had to pass my medical exam, I found out that I needed to lose 14 pounds in 14 days (Jesus, can anything be easy in my life?). By going to the sauna, running 7 miles a few times a week and giving up water for two days, I made it.
By a pound.
So that first night, I slept 5 hours and mentally programmed myself to get up quickly and that this would be a new lifestyle. My body was not pleased. Work was kind of brutal and I was sleepy. The second day I woke up on four hours of sleep and after work went running.
Over the next 9 days I slept no more that 4 hours a night and was getting up at 5am to run or hit the gym. I was on a restricted diet of small portions. Almonds, apples, a little bit of Jacked supplement in the mornings, and chicken. I was doing my regular floor workouts and started getting into a routine. One of my very good friends invited me out and I got to meet her f
riends. Annie Monroe is an angel and has come through for me numerous times. I am forever in her debt. I hadnt been out in a long time. As a grad student, I had forgotten the simple pleasure of just being out with a group of friends.Annie and her hot friends----------------->
My mind started to become sharper, I was more aware of my surroundings, and was waking up before my alarm. I was making better life choices, weighing better options and a funny side effect occurred.
As I slowly built back my confidence, girls started noticing me again. I was now running at Lake Murray four to five times a week. I was watching Army Ranger training videos. I ran with recordings of Navy Seal cadences. I had developed a completely different mindset of confidence and a positive attitude.
The crowning moment came two days ago. I went to the mall that day and some blonde girl did a triple take at me and stared at me for a solid 10 seconds.
That has never happened to me before in my life. If I hadnt hesitated, I would have gotten her number but I was in awe. This stuff happens to JD, not me. I always joke that I'm a martini 7, which means a girl has to have a few strong drinks before I even get above average.Jeff summed it up best. He stated that by depriving myself of sleep and eating a lot less, I had instilled an edge, a mental survival mode that girls could pick up on. I was alert, ready for anything, and well, kind of a badass.
Jesus, if i was an insomniac, Id be pulling hundreds of ladies....lol
This experiment ended today. For the first time in my life, I bench pressed my weight. I finished with a 6 mile beach run after the gym that was brutal. When it was done, I weighed myself and was happy to note 196.4.
Lowest weight in 12 years.
In 13 days, I lost about 15 pounds. I feel amazing, and more confident than ever. I have a wonderful outlook on life, and best of all, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. I can calm down and work on being successful. Its a whole other world, I can tell you that. Just the way people treat you, the way your clothes fit better, and your general leadership abilities increase.
I wouldnt recommend this for everyone. But if I inspire someone to say, "I've had enough, if Rob can do this between finishing a Doctorate, running a company, working 55 hours a week, writing a book and being a reservist, I can do it."
I believe in you. And if you need help, guidance, or someone to keep on you about reaching your goals, I am always available.
Change comes from frustration and motivation.
Remember:
The brain controls the body, but YOU control the brain.
Carry on.
R.
